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 Get Nailed, The Play 

                                                                               Act I

 

                                                                                       Scene  I                                                                                                              

                                                                                                             

  

             

Curtain rises on coffin surrounded by fog to give an eerie feeling.  There is silence for a moment to give audience time to grasp this.  Footsteps are heard in the distance. There appears a man who is well dressed and articulate in his speech. He is like a Rod Serling type of fellow.
 

                                                                                          Man

Good evening. (Drawls it out slow and firm) Welcome, one and all, large and small, big and tall, fat and thin.  (He gestures to audience to excuse him for a moment as cell phone is ringing.  Man is clearly saying some wrong things that he is being corrected for.)  He clears his throat and says, “Uh, yes, sir.” (He continues a little embarrassed and apologizes to audience.) Excuse me.  I meant no offense.  (He is holding a big black book marked Destiny.   He opens the book.)

 

                                                                                          Man 

Now, where was I?  Oh, yes. (As if a little shaken by the voice on the other end of the phone) Welcome, everyone no matter who you are!  Tonight we will examine one life that was doomed to failure. (He now opens the book to tell a story.)  Once upon a time and long, long ago, (at this point an unknown female voice is heard saying, “Not that long ago!”) and far, far away, (again the unknown female voice says, ”Not that far away! Come on give me a break!”)  there was a little girl who wanted to grow up and be like Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, or Rapunzel. (Clears throat)  You get the picture.  No? A picture is worth a 1000 words.  Let me show you. (He gestures with his hand. At this moment, a screen appears from out of nowhere. The Man has retrieved a remote in his pocket.  He turns to audience.  This clicker will soon be known as an ability to access time past.)

 

                                                                                        Man 

I love visual aids.  I find them so much more accurate!  You cannot embellish the actual truth. (He clicks the remote and the slide show begins.)

 

 

                                                                                  Flashback

                                                                           SIX YEARS OLD                 

A little girl about six years old is lying on the floor kicking her legs.  She is clearly in a happy state.  She is in front of a stereo listening to Elvis sing, “It’s Now or Never.” 

 

                                                                                     Girl 

Twinkle, twinkle little star, I wish I may, I wish I might have the love I wish tonight!  I just can’t wait to grow up and get married.  I’ll be just like the girls in the Elvis movies.  I’ll be so happy! And I want one of those little red convertibles.

 

Man clicks remote as picture on screen is frozen                                                                           

 

                                                                                    Man

But then something happened she wasn’t prepared for. (He clicks the remote once again to reveal little girl sitting Indian style.)

                       

 

                                                                                    Girl 

I went to my best friend’s house to play and she wasn’t home.  Her brother lied to me and told me to come inside and wait in the side room for her.  He said she would be just a little while.  He came in and trapped me.  I don’t like him anymore.  Why did he have to touch me like that?  He pulled his pants down.  I got so scared.  I pretended to do something and then I ran out of the house.  I escaped!    I’m so scared.  My stomach hurts all the time.  My mommy took me to get an X-ray but nothing was wrong.  My tummy still hurts. (She’s holding her stomach) I’m so scared.

I don’t want to go to school.  I want to stay home.  Please don’t make me go! (Pause button is hit on the remote.)

 

                                                                                   Man

As time went on, she became more withdrawn. Fear gripped her.  She turned to food…especially sweets.  They were very comforting to her.  Her thoughts became very dark and sexual in nature. She wanted to be like the other girls but something changed after that incident. She was never the same again.

 

Man clicks remote again.

A few bars of “Heart and Soul” is overheard.

 

 

                                                                              Flashback

                                                                          CAKE SCENE

There appears an 11 year-old girl sitting at a table with a great big chocolate cake and a great big gallon of ice cream.  A bottle of soda is there as well. She is wearing a big oversized sweatshirt and ball cap.

 

                                                                                 Girl 

I dream of cake and icing all the time and how about a blob of ice cream on the side?  And don’t forget a soda pop to wash it down!  I know I’m getting hefty.  Don’t tie me up

and throw me out! I’m not the trash! I’m a green-eyed monster or so my daddy says. I like to beat up all the boys in the neighborhood. Nobody likes me!  They all call me fatty! I’m not very happy. Soooooo…(Very sheepishly) could you give me another piece of cake? And don’t forget lots of icing!  And a soda pop to wash it down!

 

Man clicks Remote and picture is frozen.

 

 

                                                                                Man 

She became older and things on the outside appeared (Enunciates) to be getting better, but emotionally things on the inside grew progressively worse.  I will take you to a scene where she was fifteen years old.  She had become thin and was very pretty.  She was the most popular girl in school.  But the inside felt quite different.  (He clicks remote.)

 

                                                                              Flashback

                                                        PIANO SCENE FIFTEEN YEARS OLD                  

Girl is at the piano.  She is playing the theme song to Romeo and Juliet.  She is thin, pretty and has on a beautiful blouse with huge bell sleeves that hang just right as she raises her hands up and down to play.  She turns around to the audience to speak.

                                                                               

                                                                                  Girl 

I lost all that weight.  Don’t I look great?  It just kind of fell off one day.  I fell in love! (She grabs her heart)  What a great way to lose weight!  (She continues to play a few more bars and then stops again to speak.)  I am playing Romeo and Juliet in the school talent show.  I was so afraid to get up in front of the whole school that I took a swig of green nerve medicine.  But (she cups her hand to her mouth to whisper as if someone will hear) don’t tell my mom, she would kill me!  It really helped calm me down.  (She turns to play a few more bars then stops to speak)                                                                     

                                                                          

        

Everyone loved me!  They thought that I was grand.

Everyone loved me!  They wanted me to play Paul McCartney’s

“Let It Be” in the school rock band. Little did they know Romeo and Juliet is (She cups her hand to her mouth and whispers so no one else will hear) the only thing that I do know! Fooled them, fooled them!  But I wouldn’t tell them so.  (She smirks)  I’ll just let them think that I am great, that I can play any ‘ole thing.   What they don’t know won’t hurt them as long as I look good and they think that I’m okay. (She again turns to play a few more bars

then stops to speak)

 

I am going with the most popular boy in school but I think 

          I have just fallen in love with my brother’s best friend,      

          ….an older man! He is three years older than me. I want to

          marry him.  I told my mom we could live on love. My mom

          said we have to be able to live on something other than

          love.  You know moms!  What does she really know?  She’s

          older!  She’s a Mom!  (Girl is frozen while several lines

          of Elvis song, “I want you, I need you, I love you”)

          Lines

                       

(After lines of song she interjects) Oh, my gosh!  I just fell in love again with a guy at my high school.  I dumped “the older man”.

 

 

                                                                                  Girl 

By the way, my dad just left us.  I feel like the Jolly Green Giant socked me in the stomach.  What’s gonna happen to us now?  Well, (Thinking as if trying to figure this out) everybody says I’m just like my dad.  I guess I’ll just have to take care of us somehow but I don’t want to.  I hate him for leaving me.  One day, though, when I get married, I’ll never get divorced.  I’ll never do this to my children.  I hate him.  I’ve started hitting myself.  I get so angry!  Why can’t everybody just be happy?  They are in the Elvis movies!  I hate my life. (She turns back around to play a few more bars and then Man clicks remote to end the slide show.) 

 

Light rises on Man 

 

 

                                                                                  Man 

The life this girl lived was one of apparent doom.  Whatever she put her hand to, failed.  She had moments of relief and happiness, but something inside was very wrong. Evil forces shut every door that was opened for her to walk through.  She learned to pretend her way through life because of these disappointments.  She could not change her circumstances to suit herself, so she started focusing on the way she looked, thinking she was in control.  She started manipulating and conniving others any way she could into doing what she wanted.  If anyone could have sung Elvis Presley’s song,  “I Did It My Way (He starts to sing this then clears his throat and stops), she could have.  Excuse me.  I do get carried away sometimes! (Man walks off stage.  The girl appears in person from this moment.)

Lights Down

End of Scene I

 

 

                                                                               Scene II                                                                                                                                                        

                                                                 MAKE-UP TABLE SCENE

Lights up

            

Young girl around 22 is sitting at a make-up table looking at her reflection in the mirror, seeming very pleased.  She leans into the audience to draw them into her world.

 

                                                                                    Girl 

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the prettiest one of all?  (She laughs)  Of course! We know!  It’s me!  They all want me.  Who are they anyway?  Of course, they didn’t a few months ago ‘cause I was fat again.  I almost weighed 200 pounds!  “I was a hunk a hunk of burning love!”  I practically had to starve myself to death to get here to look like this, but look at me now.  Diet pills! Someone gave me a prescription one called "black beauty" once, but it made me feel really funny.  I couldn’t get any more of those so I had to buy over the counter diet- pills.  I was able to almost starve myself to death to look like this. I look good driving around in my red convertible. (She is smiling very big and admiring herself.)

 

She continues to put on make-up while talking.

 

 

It took a crisis to get me to lose the weight. “I got all shook up.” A couple of months ago, my boyfriend and I went out to eat lunch.  He takes me to all the best places…you know, two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onion on a sesame seed bun.  Whew!  Load up on the special sauce!   Anyway, I ordered a Big Chef, a large fry and a large chocolate milkshake.  I just love chocolate, don’t you?  Mmmmmm. Anyway, I was wearing a Moo Moo that day.  Ya’ll know what a Moo Moo is, don’t ya? (cow bell is heard) It’s a great big dress for a great big body!  So we sat down and I started unwrapping my food.  Come to mama!  Well, my boyfriend looked at me with “the look.” I already knew what he was going to say before he said it.  He said, “When are you going to lose some of that weight?”  I couldn’t believe what my two big ears had heard. (She goes into this quip about her ears)  When I was little, I thought I had really big ears. The girls in the movies didn’t.  So this one day, I got this bright idea that somehow I needed to pin my ears down to my head to make them flat. So I just put tape behind them.  It worked pretty well for a while but because of my body heat, they kept popping back up so I finally gave that up.  I decided that when I got older and had the money, I would get them pinned down to my head permanently.  But when I grew my hair long, I could hide them.  Anyway, that special sauce was just gonna have to wait!  I calmly wrapped it back up, headed for the trashcan and threw it away.  Do you know how much strength it took for me to do that?  I don’t mean not to kill my so-called boyfriend; I mean not to eat that food!  I said, "take me home."  He did.  We broke up!  But look at me now.  Break ups are a great way to lose weight. (A few more bars of “Now, I’m a hunk, a hunk of burning love”) 

 

She continues                                                                      

 

During the time I was broken up with Mr. Burger Chef, I went back to my hometown in West Virginia.  My dad moved us away from there after I graduated high school.  He thought it would be better for us to be close to him where his business was in Richmond.  I just wanted to be near his wallet!  While I was back in my hometown, I happened to run into my high school sweetheart. We thought we still had feelings for each other.  We were a couple of years older now, so trying to carry on a long-distance romance didn’t seem so impossible.  He arranged to come to Virginia for the summer to work. I was so excited.  It looked like things in my life were finally going to start to work out the way I wanted them to. (Somber)He called me one Friday night while I was at work.  He was on winter break from college and had found a ride to Virginia.  He said he could stay for the weekend. (She pauses) But for some reason I said, why don’t you just let me fly in there?  But he said, no,  he would come to Virginia.  He said, “I love you” and I said, “I love you, too.”  He said, “I’ll see you about 2:00 in the morning.”  Those were the last words we ever spoke to each other on earth.                                                   

 

She continues

 

There were four boys in the car that night as they left Marshall University.  They had been drinking to celebrate the fall term being over.  They ran head-on into a truck on the West Virginia Turnpike.  He was in the front passenger’s seat.  He only had a long scratch across his forehead and was the only one killed.  That night, I felt that my life died.  I was never the same again. (The lights fade on her and they rise on singer who sings “We almost went all the way”)   

 

Lights go down on singer and up again on Girl.

 

But look at me now.  I practically had to starve myself to death to get here, to look like this. It only took me a couple of months too!  I was tipping the scale at 200 pounds.  Now I weigh 117 pounds.  Guess who showed up at my door the other day? (She hums this hum she always does.) “Mr. Two All Beef Patties” himself!  But I’m not ready to go back with him yet.  (She pauses, unsure whether or not to say next statement, but she rambles on like usual..big mouth and all.)

 

I went to a party the other night.  I smoked some weed and I got blind drunk.  I don’t care anymore.  You know how it gets when you drink so much that you feel like booze is oozing out of every pore in your body?  I decided, as if I was capable of making a decision about anything, I was going to drive myself home.  Well, I wasn’t 500 yards down the road and driving with one eye closed (gestures with one eye closed), when I ran right into somebody’s yard.  I tore down their fence and ran into a ditch.  I got scared, got outta the car, and ran back to the party where my so-called friends were.  I lied to everyone about blacking out.  I didn’t.  I shouldn’t have been driving.  What kind of friends would let a friend drive drunk?  I just don’t care anymore but I never get hurt. (She freezes while light rises on Satan.)

                                                                      

Blue Light appears again as Satan appears from waist up and sings a few bars of “I’m Evil.”   Blue Light fades on Satan

 

 

She gets up from the make-up table and walks to the audience to speak.

                                                                                           Girl

                                                                                  

So far, I’m 22 and I feel like I’ve lived enough for two people.  I drink like a fish.  I smoke like a chimney.  If my family only knew.  I stopped smoking weed 'cause it only makes me paranoid.  I’ve had more sex than I care to think about.   I’ve already had three abortions.  I’m lost, that’s clear, but I don’t know how to get outta here.  Do you?  (Long pause)  So I just keep going.  I keep pretending everything’s okay. (She stops to ponder)  I’ll get out of this, I’m certain.   I’m smart.  I just got promoted to Branch Manager at the bank.  I’m getting ready to get married.  Remember the guy at Burger Chef?  I mean, well, my high school sweetheart is dead.  I’ll be okay. (She is trying to convince herself of this.) I just want to get married, and then I’ll be okay.  I know I will.  I’ll be happy then….when I’m settled (Elvis song is heard, ”It’s Now or Never”). 

 

Lights down                                                                                     

                      

                                                                                                        

Lights up on Man

 

Man is sitting at a table with poker chips, cards, etc. He has a cowboy hat on.  He shuffles the cards a few times then stops to look at the audience with a somber face. He doesn’t sing this.

 

                                                                                        Man 

You got to know when to fold’em, know when to hold’em, know when to walk away, know when to run.

 

Lights fade on Man                             

 

 

 

                                                                                  Scene III

 

                                                                               BAR SCENE

                                                                    SEVERAL YEARS LATER

At this moment, music starts in the background. Donna Summer’s “Bad Girls.”  She reappears with a glittery top on with her hair swept up in a French twist.  She walks over to a barstool, sits down, twirls around a few times then stops.  She picks up a mask of a man’s face that is on a stick and uses this as a prop to depict an actual man.  She stands and dances for a minute with this mask. It doesn’t matter to her who it is.  It represents any man who will give her attention.  She is searching in all the wrong places for the answer to her life.  She is blinded and doesn’t realize it.  This scene shows how her life is getting progressively worse and empty.  She wants to get off this merry-go-round but doesn’t know how.  After her dance, she sits back down on the barstool and then twirls around to the audience holding a drink.

                                                                                 

 

                                                                                       Girl 

I’m so lonely. (Drawls it out)  I feel like I have a hole inside of my heart. Can you help me fill it up? (Asks mask) Why do I just settle for anyone?  I just want to be happy! All that glitters isn’t gold. (She smirks) Just look at me for a while. Then you’ll see me for who I really am.  I’m tired of pretending and wearing a twenty-four-hour smile. (She picks up the mask and looks it right in the face)  Can you help me with my lonely heart even if you are a one- night stand? (Lights fade on her while Elvis’ song “One Night” is being sung.)  

 

After song, lights fade on singer and she rises from bar, drink in hand and walks to the audience to confide in them.

 

I got divorced.  I married Mr. Burger Chef.  We had one daughter.  I had everything money could buy and I was miserable.  I had all the clothes and jewelry you could want.  At one time, I counted eighty-five pairs of shoes in my closet.  But I wasn’t happy.  I had started having panic attacks after we were married and became afraid to go anywhere.  I was afraid to drive a car most of the time. I started on Valium and then started going to a Psychiatrist and he gave me more medications.  Things just seemed to get worse.  I hated me.  I hated my life.

 

I would break out into rages and then cry out for help to somebody.  But who was gonna help me?  I was doing everything I knew and so was everybody else.  The rage inside of me was so deep. I hurt everyone I loved.  I felt so ashamed.  I couldn’t get out of the mess I was in and nobody could help me.  I even tried to con my own doctors into thinking I was all right. (She smirks) I just wanted to be happy.  Is that so much to ask?

                          
She Continues

I’ve tried to commit suicide several times now.  One night I sat in the middle of my living room.  I was on medication and of course, I sometimes a Valium just to take the edge off the anti-depressants I was on.  I’ll have you know that at one time, they tried me on 25 different kinds of medications just to find something that worked for me.  So this one night, I tipped up a bottle of Jack Black.  I thought that was a cool way to say Jack Daniels.  I chugged it and chugged it until I couldn’t drink anymore.  I passed out for about two hours and then I woke up.  I couldn’t believe it.  I was supposed to be dead.  I remember yelling at the top of my lungs to someone saying, why do you keep letting me wake up?  (As if someone were going to answer me.)  Yeah, right.

                                                  

As she is walking back to the barstool, Blue Light rises on Satan.

 

Blue Light appears and Satan sings a couple of lines of “Surrender.”  He has a rose in his teeth for effect.  Then he laughs and light fades.                                                 

 

 

Girl twirls around a few times, takes a sip of her drink and leans into the audience.                         

 

                         

Can you believe the gall of my friend?  We were at work one day and she told me that she wasn’t going to go out with me anymore ‘cause I was a sloppy drunk!  Can you imagine?  She had a lot of guts to tell me that, don’t you think?  It was like someone threw a bucket of cold water in my face.  But you know what’s funny? (She pauses and hangs her head)  She was right.  It’s a wonder I haven’t been killed or raped.  I could tell you stories that would make your hair stand straight up… without any hairspray!  I don’t even care what happens to me when I go out.  If people only knew how I really felt inside and what I have done. (She hangs her head) I shouldn’t even be alive.  But, (She sighs) I just keep on going just like the Eveready Energizer Bunny. (She imitates the bunny) I just keep on beating my drum! ‘cause… I know someday I’m gonna get out of this…somehow. (She is trying to convince herself, as usual.) I keep waking up! (She says this as if that is a miracle and that she could tell a lot more if she wanted to.)  I don’t want to…but I do. 

 

Blue Light rises to just show Satan laughing and rubbing his fingers on his jacket to gloat that his will was being administered.  He holds up a sign that says, ”Surrender to me for good.”

 

She recounts another story

 

My mom, sister and I went to a childhood friend’s wedding.  I got so drunk. I got up in the middle of the night and found myself out on the balcony.  I have been getting up in the middle of the night ever since I was little.  I would get up two, three, four times in one night and go raid the frig.  The first time I was married we tried putting a chain around the frig just so I wouldn’t eat in the middle of the night.  (Chains rattle in the background for effect as she stops and makes a funny face.)                                                                               

 

Anyway, (as if shaking herself out of a daze) evidently, I got up as I usually do, and stumbled out the door of our hotel room onto the balcony.  I didn’t even know where I was.  I could hardly see.  I tried to find my way back to my room but I couldn’t.  I went in this door where people were lying all around.  I thought to myself, something isn’t right.  So I turned around and went back out on the balcony and started to cry.  I begged someone to help me but who was going to help me?  It was the middle of the night, for God’s sake.  Anyway, somehow, and I don’t even know how, I got back to my room where my mom and sister were.  I crashed and then woke up the next morning.  I didn’t remember it until hours later and when I did, I had this really sick feeling inside.  I didn’t dare tell anyone; not anyone.  What would they think about me?  So I just took all my antidepressants, got in the car and slept all the way home.       

                                                                        

 

She leans into the audience and sings this.

 

                             

Give me a pill and I’ll feel better. Give me a drink so I’ll forget.  Give me a cig. It’ll help my nerves.

Ugh! I can hardly take a breath. Let me have sex, I need someone to love me. As a matter of fact, I can’t get enough. What is your name? Oh, yes. I remember! Could you pass me my pills so I’ll forget… and don’t forget a drink to wash them down!

 

Background music starts up.  It is the theme to Saturday Night Fever, “Staying Alive.”

  

                                                                                           Girl

Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh staying alive, staying alive. Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, who would have thought I would survive?

(Repeats one more time as lights fade.  She dances off the stage then stops to imitate John Travolta, pointing her fingers up and down. She laughs as she dances off stage.  She yells bad girl then blows a whistle and says, “beep, beep”.) Lights fade on scene.

 

Song to end Act I “Stuck on You.”  At the end Satan yells, “You can’t escape me!”

                      

                                                                                     ACT II

 

                                                                                    Scene I            

Lights up on Man sitting in chair                                                                                                                              

 

Man appears with the big black book marked Destiny in his lap.  He glances at the book before speaking to make certain of what he is about to say, as if checking to make certain that he has the right life.  Electrodes are attached to his head, as if trying to be funny.

 

                                                                                       Man

The years rolled by.  Much of the same happened.  She kept thinking that life would just get better.  She had momentary happiness but no matter what she accomplished, whom she married, or what she possessed, she was never, ever happy inside.  So piece by piece and little by little, her life gradually started falling apart.  The painfulness of it was so severe that it would be, well…(Trying to find the right analogy) for YOU (as if he was exempt and was from another world) it would be like having open-heart surgery without being put to sleep!

 

She just kept going through life.  Every time she got knocked down, she got back up.  Her mind was tormented.  It never shut off.  She sought help through Psychiatrists, Psychologists, through medications.  She even checked herself into a hospital for shock therapy.  Nothing helped, nothing worked.  There is a saying where I come from, “you don’t counsel demons, you cast them out.”  There was a reckoning coming in this life never to be equaled again. (Once again, the phone rings and the Man says, “Yes, sir!” and quickly pulls the fake electrodes off of his head.  He makes a funny face as though he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t)     

 

Lights Down 

 

                                                                                    Prison Scene

 

Prisonettes are in place. Three background singers for effect. They have on prison jackets.  This is the main set. The set has a couch and end tables with lamps to depict a living room, but there are prison bars on either side, which indicate a prison.  This is her prison but she doesn’t even know it.  There is a giant clock in the scene as well.  Evidently, time is a big factor. There are two doors on either side of this living area.  One is marked PAST and one is marked FUTURE. 

 

 

Lights come slowly upon this scene.  She has a “sleeping hat” on. She is lying on her couch where she sleeps.  Clock alarm sounds and Prisonettes start singing “Tick, tick, tick, got to get to work on time! Then one shouts, On Time!  She gets up, throws off her hat, jumps on a little scooter and goes round and round a few times. She parks the scooter, puts her sleeping hat back on and lies down.  The lights go slowly down and stars appear, to depict nighttime.  Then as nighttime fades a rooster crows depicting another day.  Prisonettes start singing, “Tick, tick, tick, tick, got to get to work on time!  This is used to show same ‘ole thing just different day.  She gets on her scooter and she speaks.

            

 

             

                                                                                        Girl 

 

Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, round in circles all the time. Running, running, running, running just to get to work on time. Ticking, ticking, ticking, ticking same ‘ole thing just different day. It’s about to drive me crazy! (Stops to look at audience) Is this the way life’s supposed to be? Running, running, round in circles, got to get to work on time. I don’t like this life I’m living. I’m not happy any time! Jump off?  (She stops and looks at audience) They’d call me crazy! What else would I do?  Who are "they" anyway?

 

 

She parks her scooter and goes and picks up a baton and starts to twirl it.  She slowly starts walking back up towards the audience.                              

                                                                        

                           

                                                                                       Girl

Is this all there is to life?  I am just sick and tired of the same ole’ thing.  I need some pizzazz, some umph in my life.  I just want to be happy.  Is that so much to ask?  She quotes from Shakespeare, “To be or not to be, that is the question!”  But NO!  I say, “To be happy (Enunciated) or not to be happy.  Now THAT is the question!”  And I ain’t happy.  (Chuckles)

 

I’ve never been happy, really.  Oh, for moments here and there, if I get something new, if I have a new love interest.  I’ve been married twice so far, the second time was to Satan.  I remember him holding a gun up to his head on Christmas Eve the first year we were married.  Well, (Laughingly) we weren’t even married a year!  He threatened to kill himself right smack dab in the middle of the living room. (She looks at audience with a look)  He took me for everything I had.  I just had to have a man!  The stories I could tell you about that one.  I found him in bed with his girlfriend so that ended that one!  Thank God! God? 

 

She walks to a rack on stage.  She puts on a prison jacket and hat while still speaking to the audience. 

 

                         

                                                                                       Girl 

Prisonettes echo in the background.

 

I just try to act happy (do,do,do,do).  Isn’t that what they say we should do (do,do,do,do)? I try to be in step with everybody, but I’m dying within myself (Within herself). Life is hard I’ll give you that (She’ll give you that!) I just wanted to be happy!  I didn’t ask for all this crap (For all this crap!) I don’t even know who I am  (Who is this girl?).

 

 

She speaks this

 

Yes, I know what my name is, where I live those sorts of things. But who am I?  (Very questioning, looking up in the air) My life wasn’t supposed to be like this! I’m stuck somewhere. I need to find out before it’s too late before I’m dead, where I fit in, where I belong, where I’m supposed to be. I just wanted to be happy just like they are in the Elvis movies and I’m just not (She’s just not!)

 

 

She has picked up two faces.  One is a smiley face and one is a sad face.  They are interchanged during the song.

 

                                                                                   Queen of Despair

                                                                                               Girl  

Oh, Hi! Oh, yes, I’m happy. Ugh! I’m really not (She’s really not!) Other people think that I’m okay.  I wear this smile upon my face but they don’t know what’s really taking place (What’s taking place, she hides her face. They all put their hands over their faces) (She speaks this) I hate my life. I’m not happy inside. So, I hide.  But, they can’t know. What would they say?  Who are they anyway? I don’t know, but they’ve been controlling my life all of my life.

 

She walks back to the table, picks up big book that says Bible.  She blows off the dust and throws it back on the table.  That’s not the answer I need!

 

 

          

                                                                                               Girl 

                                                                                   

She walks to the rack in the corner.  She is speaking while this is taking place. She puts on a long, blonde wig, gloves with long, red fingernails attached, a pink boa around her neck, and a long cigarette holder with a lit cigarette.  She wears sunglasses or really long eyelashes for effect and holds a half full glass of what appears to be whiskey.  She slinks to the middle of the stage and begins.

                                                                                                                                  

I’m in a prison within myself. But I can’t let others see.

I’m in a prison within myself. I’m not really happy being me. Help me take off this mask. Help set me free! (She directs this to the audience)

 

                                                                                                                                             

Prisonettes echo as she sings I’ve tried it all believe you me (Believe you her!) I gave it my best or what I thought that to be. (Thought it to be) I had most everything that money could by (Money,Honey.  Singers go off on a little tangent and they one of them hits the others to get them back in the moment) But I just wasn’t happy even though I tried and tried. I got a lot of things I didn’t ask for, like abortions...how many is it now, four? I didn’t make the stars in the Heavens (Singers fling stars into the audience) or put the grass on the earth or ask for all this pain and hurt!  So, this one’s for you Peggy Lee (holds up her whiskey glass to toast her and then starts singing (Miss Peggy Lee)

 

                                                                               Miss Peggy Lee

Singers are in background humming. If that’s all there is, If that’s all there is, If that’s all there is my friend, then lets keep dancing, let’s break out the booze and have a ball (Great big ball rolls out on stage out of nowhere. She stops to look at it and then at the audience as if wondering where it came from too) ‘Cause that’s all there is…(Raises glass and downs the drink) She walks off stage, snapping her fingers and slinks away singing, “Cause that’s all there is.”(That’s All There Is! They take a bow)

Lights down

 

Blue Light rises on Satan.  He states, “I’ve got her just where I want her now.  She is going down for good this time.  I want some fresh meat.  She’s bores me with the same old whining and complaining.  It is over.  Her soul is mine..

 

 

 

                                                                                    Scene II

                                                                                Bathtub Scene

        

  

Lights Up

 

Water is heard overhead while lights are out. Lights slowly rise on girl sitting in a chair with a bathrobe on. She is putting on lotion. Water is turned off then you hear just a slow drip for comic effect and she says, “Can someone please turn off the water?”  God and Archangel Michael are voices only and appear as bright lights.

                                                                                                                                                  

                                                                                        Girl  

When I tried to fit in, I just felt worse. They tried to make me like they wanted me but I just couldn’t. The more I tried to be like them, the more I felt drawn back deep within to a place that was dark, and damp and cold.  The Pit of the miry clay! Yuck! Why do I let people rule my life?  Who are they anyway?

 

                          

                                                                                       Girl 

(Looks up as if yelling at God) Why has my life turned out like this?  I was the one who sang, One God all by myself, in Sunday school without any music!  (She thinks that should have made a difference in her life.)  Why have you let my life turn out like this?  Why have you left me?

 

                                                                                 Voice of God 

Remember your best friend in the ninth grade who became a born-again Christian?

 

                                                                                      Girl

Yes.

                      

                                                                                 Voice of God  

You thought she was crazy didn’t you?

 

                                                                                       Girl

Yes.

 

                                                                                 Voice of God

Remember when she came to visit you in college and you said she just better not start that Jesus stuff with me! Remember?

                                                                                       Girl

I remember.

 

                                                                                Voice of God 

Every time you got into trouble and yelled for me, didn’t I send someone to help you?  Didn’t you always, and I mean always, promise me you would do better?

 

                                                                                      Girl

Yes.

  

                                                                               Voice of God

So you see, I didn’t leave you. You left me.

 

                                                                                     Girl 

(Sobbing.)  It’s true.  Okay, you’re right!  I always made promises to you.  Could it be this is my fault?  Why that’s just so hard for me to believe.  Aren’t you God?  Don’t you just swoop down and fix things?

 

 

                                                                               Voice of God

No.  You don’t know even know Me, Molly, or you would know that.

 

                                                                                    Girl 

I want out of the pit I’m in!  If, (She pauses as if to wonder and enunciates) and that’s a really big if, you are really real, please help me!  (She goes and lays down on couch)

                                                            

 

Lights go down slowly and stars appear, suspended in space.  They are everywhere.  All of a sudden she sits up frantically.  She is aware of who she is and where she is, but something clearly isn’t right.  Is she dreaming? She gets up from the couch and starts walking slowly around the stage.             

 

                          

                                                                                     Girl 

Something isn’t right.  I feel like I have been sucked out of my body.  I feel like I am floating somewhere.  Oh, my gosh, (As she suddenly recalls) I have a family. What will they think?  (Then she recalls she has a daughter) My daughter will be so upset.  Something isn’t right.  I’m scared.

 

Blue Light rises on Satan in corner as he is laughing.  He holds prison bars over his face and just laughs.  He speaks, “You are mine now.” 

 

 

                            

                                                                                    Girl 

(She yells) Michael, Archangel Michael!  Save me. Michael!

All of a sudden, as if out of nowhere, Archangel Michael appears as she finds herself kneeling before him to thank him. He appears as a bright yellow light only.

 

                                                                          Archangel Michael 

I am a servant of the Lord.  Jesus has sent me.  Do not bow before me.

 

                                                                                    Girl

I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I have just always heard your name I didn’t know that you are really real. Whew! Too many drugs! (She speaks this to audience)

 

                                                                         Archangel Michael

 

The next time you are in trouble, call for Jesus.

 

                                                                                     Girl 

I will. I promise. I promise. I didn’t know.  I thought he was too important to call.  I didn’t want to bother Him.  I mean, is He even real? (A clap of thunder is heard)

 

                                                                                     Girl 

Wake-up! (She hits herself in the face to wake-up.)I am so tired of this life I just want some peace! (She tries to go to sleep again.)

 

 

Lights dim only on her

 

 

Lights up on Man

                                                                                    MAN

Man appears this time standing.  One hand is in his pocket as other hand is used for effect to gesture.  He is very solemn.

                            

God said, “She ain’t listening to me.” (He is hit by something and stumbles a little.)  Yes, sir.  All right!  (Man repeats) God said, “She is not listening to me (uses proper English). She has never listened to me.  She is a wild stallion that I am just going to have to break!  God said, “It is either going to wake her up or shake her up. ”Whew!  Glad I’m not her”! (Man crouches down in fear as lights dim)

 

Thunder and lightening are heard as lights flicker. Bright light settles at the end of the couch.

 

                                                                                      Girl

What before my wondering eyes should appear?  No! It’s not Elvis!  (She was very careful not to look upon His face but caught the glimpse of His brown hair upon his shoulder and a very white robe.  He had on brown sandals.  From the moment she picked up His hand to kiss it, she knew that it was the Lord because she saw the scars in His wrists.)

 

                                                                                      Girl

It’s so bright. (She speaks to the light) I love you. I love you so much.

 

                                                                                    LORD 

(Just a voice is heard through the light) I know that you do but you are not being obedient!  (This voice was the most beautiful, firm, commanding voice she had ever heard.)

 

                                                                                      Girl

I know. I know. I’ll try harder. I promise.  I promise.

 

She goes on as bright light fades.  She sits up and looks to audience.

 

                                                                                      Girl 

Uh-Oh!  I am in big trouble now!  (She touches and pinches herself to make certain she isn’t dead.)

 

                                                                                      Girl 

Am I dead?  (She hums) do, do, do, do.  Where is my “Mr. Fluffy",  my secret security blanket?”  Was that who I thought it was? Whose face did I see and shose voice was that? Have I lost my mind or were you really here? (She looks up to Heaven) Was it really you? I remember He spoke to me in the most wonderful voice I ever heard. What will people say?  What will people think, Jesus, when I tell them you appeared to me?

 

I repent for leaving you. I repent. Come in.  (She kneels to the ground)

 

Lights down.

 

Crying in the Chapel needs to be sung here as a full song.

                                                        

 

                                                                                      ACT III

                                                                                      Scene I                                                                           

 

This scene opens and the girl is in the living room sitting on the couch with big oversized bible opened up on TV tray.  She has a great big pen and pad as well.  She is studying something that is totally foreign to her.  But she figures she might as well, cause she has tried everything and everyone else.

 

                                                                                        Girl 

What do you mean we are the temples of the living God?  So let me get this straight. (She is thinking)  It’s like we are a building.  But buildings are made with bricks. (She shakes her head as if not understanding) Bricks these thighs are not!  I don’t understand.  I mean, well I’ll admit I have a hard head but come on!  What are you trying to say?  You live in me if I say it’s okay I ask you to come in?  Really?  How weird is that? I think it would be easier for me to just learn Spanish.  (Speaks to audience)    I’ve tried everything else!  I mean it’s free. What have I got to lose?  It says if, and that’s a really big if, I believe, even though I can’t see it, I receive it!   Well, bring it on!  Yea!  I am great about receiving stuff!  You say here that you wash my sins away.  Man, that’s worth it in and of itself…into the Sea of Forgetfulness.  Well, I’m in!  You mean you won’t remember them anymore?  Then okay.  Let’s go!  ‘Cause I don’t want to think about ‘em either.

 

She walks to the audience to speak.

                          

                                                                                Look Beyond

                                                                                        

                                                                                       Girl 

Look beyond what you can see with your human eyes.

Look beyond the stars that are flung all over the sky. Beyond the heavens, beyond the clouds for the love that is yours for the asking. Look beyond what you can see to hands that are waiting to hold you.  It is a love that can guide you into peace for your heart, your soul and mind to fill the void within.           

 

                         

She continues

 

                             

The thrill of victory cannot be experienced unless you experience defeat!  Enough defeat already!  The wisdom of all the ages is within me, within you if you believe. (Talking to God) I always thought you were in outer space somewhere.  I thought I would have to deal with you in the sweet by and by.  Are you kind of like Spock or something in Star Trek?  Do I do a kind of mind meld thing with you?  Can I talk to Elvis?  Mmmmmm.

 

                                                                                Voice of God

                                                                                 Don’t push it!

 

               

She continues                        

So let me get this straight.  I have to die so I can live.  If I have doubt, I can’t have faith.  If I hate, then I don’t love.  What is all this that comes from above?  Nobody ever told me this stuff!  It is real, yet I can’t touch it.  You say call your name and you’ll come close to me?  To be certain of what I can’t see is just absurd! 

 

(She hangs her head)

                                                                             

No. If I can give myself to everything and everybody, if I can get so low as to steal drugs from friends so I can stay high, con doctors into keeping me on pain medication so I don’t feel anything, scratch around for change hardly having a dollar to my name, selling everything I’ve got bit by bit and piece by piece, all the while trying to keep this happy face on, then I will not quit this.  I will not give up.  I will go after you, after this.  I have no options left.  I want out of this awful, sick life. Bring it on, Satan. I have quit everybody and everything but not any more.  Enough is enough! (Prisonettes go into a little of “His truth is marching on”).

 

She picks up pom-poms and continues. She does this in the form of a cheer.

 

 

   

                                                                                          Girl 

F- I- G- H- T to win!  Yea! I cried out loud to the Father

‘cause all my life I’ve wondered I just wanted to be happy!

I can’t take the life I’ve lived. You don’t have to be defeated. You don’t have to lose in life. Fight. Fight. Fight!

 

(She throws the pom-poms out into the audience and walks back to the living area and sits down.   She picks up her big pen and begins to write as the voice of God speaks.) 

 

                                               

               

 

                                                                          Tell Them I Am Real

 

                                                                               Voice of God            

Show them the love of me the only kind of love that will heal their hurt and pain. Be my hands and my feet.

Tell them they have a Father who cares when no one else does. I am holding out my hands bidding, “come.”  Won’t you tell them, please? You are the only connection I have. Tell them I am real. I am waiting for you in eternity. Won’t you tell them, please?

 

 

                                                                                        Girl 

Whew!  A poem!  Where did that come from?  The only thing I’m used to writing are checks!  Can you believe that?  She puts the pen and paper down and stands.  (She walks up close to the audience, as if to confide in them.)  There’s a secret deep within that’s not seen with human eyes.  It’s the prize that God puts there.  It’s yours and yours alone.  It’s only the candle from above that lights this secret deep within. She looks up and says, “I will tell them you are real!”

 

 

                                                                                                                                                                                          

 

          

                                                                                        Girl 

                                                                     The Other Side of Nowhere

    

On the other side of nowhere there’s a place that you can go. You can’t see it with your eyes, but it’s there on the other side. You’ll get rest you’ve never known before. You’ll find peace for your heart, for your mind. You can’t see it with your eyes. All you have to do is believe to go there.  It’s the other side of nowhere that I finally found what I’d been searching for. I found the key to the door to the other side of nowhere.  You don’t have to go down the road to nowhere.  Come with me to the other side.

 

This is where she goes to the door marked Future.  She unlocks it with the big key and goes through it. 

 

Lights down. (Elvis Song “Why Can’t My Dream Come True?”)  

                        

 

                                                                                         Finale   

 

Blue Light rises on Satan.

Man appears and tries to actually “click” Satan away. Girl then appears.                                                 

 

                                                                                          Girl 

She sees what is going on and goes and grabs the clicker out of the man’s hand.  She states, ”You can’t just click him away.  This is a job for Elvis!  She starts to laugh, ”Just kidding!” She turns to face Satan and goes at it with him ‘"toe to toe."    

                     

                            

What?  You wanna piece of me?  Well, no!  Enough is enough. You ain’t nothing but a Hound Dog.  You have tried to destroy me all of my life.  I am here to put a stop to it once and for all. It is Now or Never!  You have stolen my life, my self worth, my self esteem and my ambition!  But I have got you now!  You can’t have me or my soul.  I found out the truth.  So, it’s one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready now go Satan go.  Get behind me, Satan, in the name that is above anybody’s name..Jesus Christ of Nazareth! (Satan starts to recoil and shrink and then scream and blue light goes off, indicating he is gone from her life) 

 

 

A loud crashing noise is heard as the bars on either side of the couch fall.  One of the Prisonettes walks over and hands her a sledge hammer to destroy the coffin.  Then she destroys the door in the living room that is marked PAST. She throws the sledgehammer to the audience and says, “Here, I don’t need this anymore.”  She then walks through the door marked FUTURE. She stops before going and says to the audience,You don’t have to go down the road to nowhere.  Come with me to the other side.”

 

 

 

Lights down

 

Man reappears for the last time

                                                                                                                                                                            

 

                                                                                            Man 

He holds big black book marked Destiny.  She finally found what she was looking for. No, not Mr. Presley!  But that is not the end of her story.  There is more to come.  I have it on the best authority.  (Man shuts the book as if telling a story and is now finished.  You hear his shoes clicking as he turns to walk away.  He goes through the door marked Future.   He stops and turns around one last time) It is now time for your date with destiny, isn’t it?  (He smirks as he says this)  See you soon. (As He goes through the door, a set of angel wings spring up magically on his back).

 

Scene fades and Lights down. 

 

                                                                            

 

“Love Me Tender” is played for the final end to the play as if God were singing it to His children.    

                                                                         

 

 

Molly Painter Ministries 

P.O. Box 16491
Wilmington, NC 28408



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